The time has come

Yesterday our Lydia turned 9 months. She is growing so fast. She now weighs 20 pounds, is in 9-12 month clothing, a size 2 shoe, and 3 diapers. Her little personality seems to shine through more and more each day. She is truly a gentle spirit. She loves to be held and to be played with. Does not like when anyone yells, she starts crying herself. She has learned to make a tight fist, stretch out her arms to her sides, and then puts on this big cheesy, gummy, grin, that half the times leaves her and I both laughing. Whenever she gets excited or so over joyed that's what she does. I need to her record her doing her 'happy face.'
Now the time has come, and as of 4:51 am this morning, I am no longer breast feeding. I want to cry as I type. I don't HAVE to stop, it's a choice I am making due to some issues that I just don't feel like sharing at this point. They are selfish reasons...but I know I can't beat myself up for them. Easier said than done. For now I will say I have simply had my fill and am looking forward to sleeping through the night. I only breast fed Isabelle till 4 and a half months and wished I could have made it longer. So I am happy I made this far with Lydia. I will miss breast feeding my little girl, but know that formula isn't the end of the world. I will miss the bond that I share with her, it has been wonderful! Breast feeding is one of the best gifts you can give your child (if you can stick with it.) Maybe I will make it to one year with our next child, but I will only know when I get to that point. Kudos to you mothers out there who do it to 12 months and beyond; I think it's so awesome.
Jake is looking forward to being able to feed her now, he was getting pretty bummed that he couldn't help out. He likes those little moments of feeding her and burping her, and having her fall asleep in his arms. Even Isabelle asks to help now with the bottle and she does a pretty good job.
I can't think of much else to say about this topic, except that Lydia has taken to her bottle pretty well. The last 2 weeks I have been weening her and the first 2 days were rough and then she caught on. Before I know it, she won't even be on formula but milk...time really does fly when you're having fun.